There are days when I feel like I can’t approach the throne of God.
Today is one of those days.
I feel distant, I feel alone. I feel away.
These are the days when I deny myself grace, deny myself the promise of forgiveness because denial is the path to God, is it not?
I feel like if I’m quiet long enough, if I don’t ask for anything today, if I keep my shoulders hunched and my eyes down in a posture of shame, God will beckon me to come.
I know, I know that I am wrong. I am wrong a thousand times over.
The very essence of God is a beckon to come, a call to communion. The very Spirit of God, alive inside my wretched frame, a seal of relationship. The only Son, by his voice, invites me to Come.
The hand of God, extended always, not to push away but to bring near.
His Grace is crying out into my darkness and it is saying I am here.
Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. –Ephesians 2:12-16, ESV
It is finished. It is done. I have won.
And this is his banner over me: peace. A flag of nearness and promise.
It flies high today, just as it does every day.