Tag Archives: Writing

26 to 26: Words

Sometimes words feel like a burden that I have to carry, backpack full of nouns and verbs. They feel heavy and daunting, like obligation.

Sometimes words feel forced and contrived. Sometimes words are familiar like a friend, close like a brother, intimate like a lover.

Sometimes putting words on pages feels like the only thing, the only way.

Sometimes words ink easy onto paper, playful words beautifully posed. Sometimes words bleed through bandages of old wounds covered, forgotten. Sometimes words spell Ugly.

Sometimes words bring relief; sometimes fear. Sometimes words put flesh to mystery.

Sometimes words bring to light the Truth and cast out the lies.

Sometimes I wrap them around myself, like a warm blanket, when I feel chilled and my heart rubs raw.

Sometimes words feel like a curse; sometimes like blessing.

Sometimes I’m tempted to leave them be, abandon my brain-box of jumbled up letters. Sometimes I want to stick them on the side of the road labeled only Free.

But sometimes I realize that words aren’t easily separated from my sense of self.

I am words and full of words itching to get out, little syllables of me, gathered together, forming new things—sounds with meanings and reasons and stories to tell.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under to write.

26 to 26: Sixteen things I loved at sixteen.

Today marks a measly 16 days until my 26th birthday.

Sixteen was such a great time. Life was fun and exciting. I was just getting my license, illegally driving my best friends around. I was dating my first (and only…COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH) boyfriend for a whopping three months. I was buying clothes from the Salvation Army, wearing aviators before they were cool again, and finally growing into my personality. I was also sweating a lot…that’s definitely an over-share but it’s definitely the truth.

I loved being sixteen and still feel so fondly about the things remind me of that time. This post is an ode to you, sixteenth year of my life, and all the things that made you so great.

51U3HRq0AzL

Chuck Taylors.

Mine were pink but mostly gray from extreme over-use.

PUB  5

Taking Back Sunday.

Their album, Tell All Your Friends, pretty much was the anthem of my sixteenth year. Yeah, I’m that cool.

adam3

The only thing better than TBS was their lead singer, Adam Lazarra. 

Adam, I have always and will always love you.

128202

The Format.

Before Nate was in Fun, he was in The Format. I liked him before he was cool. #hipster

download

Cowboy Coffee at the Lady Killigrew Cafe.

A perfect post-youth group pickmeupandmakemestayuplate beverage.

262736c65cf211e299af22000a9e29bc_7

BYOT (Bring Your Own Tube)

This is something that you didn’t even know existed. This was a camp reunion before camp reunions were cool…and before any of us had our licenses. Basically, this was just a big ole’ slumber party.

images

Bradley Hathaway.

I discovered Bradley’s poetry at that time I began to uncover my love for words. He’s still doing his thing but now he’s telling stories through music.and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Pic4

The Ghetto Max.

My 1992 Nissan Maxima (which looked nothing like this). Leather seats. Sunroof. A/C. The numbers outside the doors unlocking thing.

Ray_Ban_Aviator_Sungl.88006

Aviators.

Before everyone was wearing them, I bought some at a gas station. My affinity for big sunglasses persists to this day.

-font-b-Cute-b-font-font-b-Handmade-b-font-font-b-jewelry-b-font

Little Kid’s Jewlery.

If it was plastic and cheesy, I probably owned it. Bonus points if I found it somewhere.

1396-1-2013-01-27473804_zpsf5c92239

Livejournal.

Before blogging was really a thing, I had a Livejournal. The things that I posted are just down right embarassing. And hilarious.

(Mine is still active and the last post alludes to Ashley Parker Angel…from O-Town…yeah, just Google it.)

Extreme-Teen-Bible-NKJV-9780718001643

My Extreme Teen Bible.

Did I read it a lot? Nope. Was it filled with trinkets from camp? Yup. Did the paperback binding tear away completely almost immediately? You know it. But it was my first REAL Bible and I had purchased it with my own money.

t-shirts

Thrift Store T-Shirts.

Nothing screams I’m so alternative like a good, pre-loved t-shirt.

short-emo-girl-hair-6

Emo Hair.

I’m pretty sure that I had at least three variations of this haircut.

pl1007211-custom_surgical_stainless_steel_nose_stud_rings_piercing_jewelry_with_round_prong_set_zircon

My nose ring.

My dad made me sign an agreement that this would be my final body modification. HAHAHAHAHHA. THAT’S NOT BINDING THERE WAS NO LAWYER PRESENT!

download (1)

Old Graveyards.

Don’t ask me why. I didn’t actually like them. They scared the crap out of me but the person who drove us all around loved them. I spent more time in them that I would have liked.

cabin6

Pine Brook Camp & Cabin Six.

Summers were always (and still are) meant for camp. Dang, look at those highlights.

Thanks, Sixteen. Now I feel even more self-concious.

Leave a comment

Filed under to write.

Grace Does: A Work in Evolution

Language is in evolution. We’re adding new words to the dictionary every year. We’re redefining language every single day.

I’m working through my own evolution of sorts. I’m changing.

Change is good.

I have four things sitting in Word documents, unfinished. I have four million other things in my heart, aching to grace a page. There is so much to be said, so much to be learned, so much to be shared, and yet so few words to say them with.

I cannot stand unfinished work. I make To Do lists to finish them. I start projects to complete them. I write posts to make a point, not to linger in an undefined state.

I haven’t been unable to finish this piece for months yet I’ve been slowly adding to it. I suppose it’s because I’m slowly learning more, slowly uncovering more.

[Discovery is a painstaking process, wiping away the layers of falsity and disbelief. This takes time.]

This is a work in evolution. A work of lessons being learned. A work of life. A work of learning God. A work of understanding Love. A work unfinished.

Continue reading

5 Comments

Filed under to write.